strange dreams

 As I've been nearing the end of my pregnancy my good sleep has finally soured. I started waking up around 4am or so to pee and then have trouble falling back asleep, maybe my body is preparing me for late night feeds. Although as the week wore on I gradually started waking up a bit later and later and this morning I may have woken up once to pee but I didn't get really awake until 7am, so that was a win. I feel that whenever my body goes through a change it's rough for a few days and then eventually I adjust, although there's not much time to adjust now. So I was quite tired for the majority of this week. One night I took a nap at 7pm and missed my prenatal workout class but did not really care at all. Luckily I made it clear that I needed work to slow so my boss and co-workers have been responsive and it's doing just so right now. I was worried about going into labor stressed out, and how that would affect the birth experience as well as breastfeeding. I've heard that stress can impact milk production, etc. So at least I'm not super stressed at work now on top of being tired.

The big change in the last few days is that little chunks started to drop further into my pelvis to get ready for go time, so this is putting a lot of pressure on my bladder and also just making me feel realll big and pregnant. His head is jutting out of my low belly, I can literally feel it there. In general, I think I am finally just feeling undeniably preggers. 

One dream I had this week was incredibly strange. I think it's all just hormonal mother fears coming to the forefront. I had just given birth and the baby was smaller than expected. We took the baby home, which ended up being in a very large residence inside a skyscraper hotel. For some reason, we were really busy and we kept having trouble keeping track of where the baby was and were forgetting to feed him often. I think I've had a few dreams where I realized that I forgot to feed the baby. So at one point, I picked the baby up and his body was really skinny like stretch armstrong and kind of melting away. So that was horrible. So then I fed him  A LOT, and next thing I knew he looked a lot like a monkey. He had grown quite a bit of hair all over his body, and he had a full set of teeth that were locked in a cheshire smile. He also had these jewels on his cheeks that highlighted his simian-look. It was very alarming. But I was trying to stay positive and was trying to focus on how nice his pearly white teeth were. Mama fears manifested in a very bizarre way I guess..